Ouch! That Hurt! In Response I Will Simply Bludgeon Myself Again

Holy mother of freaking maude! Why are people so damned stupid about their bodies and Weight Watchers? Let's apply some of the things I've read recently, and previously, and over and over again, and will read again...on some of the mailing lists and boards I'm on, to other aspects of life. Please someone. Help me figure out the logic because I'm at a loss.

If I eat sugar then it just makes me go overboard. For example, yesterday I just had to have chocolate chip cookies at work and it was all downhill from there. I just kept eating and eating.

You just HAD to have cookies? It made you keep eating? Okay, I'm going to walk up to you and hit you hard in the head with a hammer. That hurts, doesn't it? Now what is your response? Is it to say "Ow, that hurts? What the HELL did you do that for?" and hit me back, fight back, run away? No, those would be sensible things to do. No, instead YOU take the hammer out of my hand and hit yourself again and again and again. Yeah. I get it..

Well I gained weight this week and I was so mad I just went out and ate a double cheeseburger and super-gargantuan sized french fries at Blendys.

Let's apply this logic elsewhere..."Well, I tripped and stubbed my toe and it hurt. Well that made me mad. So I went out, grabbed the keys to the truck, put it into neutral, ran behind it, laid down, and let it run over my leg, snapping my femur in two. That really helped things quite a bit. Tomorrow if I cut myself shaving, I'll probably have to just shoot myself to even things out.

.

Well my sister wanted to go out to eat and I wanted to go to Subway, but she wanted to go to McDonalds and I just can't resist McDonalds. I didn't know the points for anything so I ordered a quarter pounder with fleas and a large fly, but I had my water. Do you think I'll still lose?.

Actually, as a teacher, I see this logic applied every day. I knew we had a test coming because it's been on the calendar for a week, plus yesterday we did a test review in class (which I didn't bother to pay attention to), but last night my favorite rerun of Star Trek was on and you know I just HAD to watch it. I didn't read the book, do the assignment, or pay attention in class. Do you think I'll pass the test?.

How's about this...your sister wants to go to McDonalds and you want to lose weight. You could:

a. Just say, "Well let's stop by Subway and I'll get a sub, then you can run through the drive-thru at McD's and we can go eat in the park...how's that?"

b. Order a grilled chicken without cheese or mayo. Put salsa on it (0 points) and have a diet soda and a side salad. Order the low fat or fat free dressing and dip your fork.

I was so mad at her, I just went on an eating binge!

Okay, I know some people have issues with emotional eating, and when you're angry it is NOT the time to try to learn new coping strategums...but I think if you KNOW you have emotional eating issues, you need to plan ahead for the next time you are angry. Maybe make a list of what you could do in response to being upset or angry that does not involve food. I have found, honestly...no, I'm not kidding, that exercise is an incredible outlet and replaces food nicely. Not only does it allow me to deal with my anger, but it's also GOOD for me!

I mean think about it...do you deal with anger with other forms of completely unrelated behaviors? How silly does this sound?

• I was so angry I danced a little jig!
• I was so pissed off that I stuck a pickle up my nose and named it Herbert.
• Oooh I was MAD! I went right out and waxed my car! That will show her!
• Okay, if she EVER does that again I'm going to go braid my back hair!

I lost THREE pounds last week, so I've been off program ever since.

I got straight As last quarter, so this quarter I'm putting away the books and not turning a darn thing in! That'll work! That'll be GREAT!

I am going to a party tonight and there will be lots of food there. I know I'll go off program.

Ummm...yeah, with that attitude you will. How's about being an adult about it. No one is going to hold you down and force feed you. Bring your own food to gnosh on if you feel comfortable sharing. If not, scope out the table and find the fresh fruits and veggies. Nibble on those throughout the night and drink diet soda or even water with a splash of something in it. Concentrate on the fun, not the food. Food is not fun. It does not tell jokes. It rarely makes amusing pratfalls. IT doesn't have a witty yet dry sense of humor. It doesn't even laugh at your jokes. In fact, it just kind of sits there and if it sits there too long it actually starts to grow things on it. Seriously, not fun at all.

PEOPLE, on the other hand, are fun. They make jokes. They laugh at the punchline. They do goofy things, sometimes even on purpose. If they sit for a long time they don't grow green things on them...at least I HOPE not.

food=not fun, fuel

people=fun, not fuel (unless you're a cannibal, but that's just wrong)

I am going to trust in God to protect my computer.

Not WW related, but an email in response to being careful about installing the new AOL software which allows them to come into your computer via their network, and "fix" things. Yeah, I want AOL to "fix" my computer like I want the local felon to "watch" my house while I'm in Peoria. Sigh.

Let's go too the movies...Let's go see a show

So last week I saw a wonderful movie, "Love Actually." Seriously. It is charming, funny, and aspects of it are quite unique. I enjoy a movie that is a little different, a little over the top or under the radar.

So the other day I'm working out and one lady, a very nice lady, announces to the entire room that she saw this HORRIBLE movie, "Love Accidentally or something" then makes a repulsive "UGH" sound, screws up her face in a horrified grimace and looks like she might happily lose her lunch at the very thought of the movie.

Okay, no biggie. She didn't like it. I did. To each his/her own.

Then she goes on to say, "Don't go see it, it was HORRRRRRIBBBBBLEEEEE!!!"

Then another lady says "Oh, I was going to go see it but now I won't. I'd heard it was good."

Mooo

mooo

mooooooo

Are people just cattle? Is that what the general public is? Just plain cattle? She wanted to see it. She planned to see it. She heard it was good. But one lady (who she knows only through working out) didn't like it, therefore that's it...not gonna see it.

And what about the first lady? I mean let me be clear. I like her. She's an older woman who is a lot of fun, but probably not the most sophisticated person in the world. She enjoys a very specific category of things, as some older people do. Things that fall outside of that particular box are suspect. There's nothing wrong with that. I've never, for example, attended a Monster Truck Rally. While my personal "box" (I believe) is quite large, I've never felt the need to step outside of my box for the pleasure of seeing little men in large extensions...errr I mean trucks drive over the top of cars.

But I don't begrudge other people that particular pleasure. I mean if Truckzilla floats your particular boat, float away Baby. I'm cool with that.

So this lady, though, as many people do assumes that her opinion is golden. I'm sure she doesn't INTEND it to sound that way. She's probably never thought about it. But I've worked out with her long enough to know that this is how she sees the world.

She's not alone. Many people are like that. They never realize that

a. Their opinion is theirs alone. There is nothing inherently bad in their opinion, but there is nothing inherently golden in it either.

b. Other people are entitled to have their own opinions, as opposed to the belief that other people are entitled to only share the opinion that person holds.

c. When they say something like (as she said to me when I actually offered up that not only did I like, but I loved the movie "Punch Drunk Love" which she proclaimed to be HORRRRIBBBBLLLLLEEEEEE with the same screwing of the face, the same look of impending hurl) "You liked it! It was STOOOOPID!!!!" that they are actually being incredibly offensive. Do they really mean to say "Wow, how could anyone like that movie? It was stupid, ergo it follows that YOU are stupid. Move along. I must not be seen with you."? That's how it comes across.

Anyhow, I actually LOVED "Love Actually", actually. It was wonderful! It was not stupid. If you like movies that are a little different, very very sweet (the Liam Neeson vignette alone was worth the price of admission on the sweet level, but the one with the two body doubles will have you roaring), you'll love this one. If you prefer your movies to be very straight arrow, typical movies you may not like it. That's okay. I'm going to let you have your own opinion.

I'm cool that way.