Gorgeous Day

Today was one of those days that make you happy to be alive. I had to go to the doctor in Seattle and to the hospital to a pre-admission appointment. I had a few hours between appointments so I walked from the hospital down into downtown Seattle. The sun was shining, birds were singing, it was just a beautiful day. It was one of those days that make me happy to be alive.

The appointment was so good today. First the nurse who did my pre-admin appointment kept telling me that I looked so great and so healthy and that she could just tell everything was going to work out perfectly. You know for some reason, that meant a lot to me. I don't know why. I'm not sure what it was, but she was so genuine. She said that she could just tell.

The doctor explained all the stuff he's going to do and told me he'd save my stomach; very good news. I met the Chief Resident who is going to assist. I hope he enjoys Hank.

Speaking of Hank, he has been making himself known lately. I thought I'd pulled a muscle in my abdomen, but it turns out that the doctor thinks it's Hank. He, by the way, got a kick out me naming my tumor. I wonder if I'll miss Hank? Naw. Good riddance to bad rubbish. It's time for Hank to come out. Goodbye Hank. We hardly knew ya.

So I'll be going in on April 1 at 6:00 a.m. I'll be at Swedish Medical Center. I get a private room (thank goodness) and will be there about ten days. Roy gets to stay with me if he wants to.

I'm feeling so much better about things lately. I got a good workout in yesterday and the day before. Today I walked about 70 minutes down into Seattle and back in boots, no less. I'm ready with my lesson plans. My kids are going to be okay without me. I'm seeing Wrestlemania this weekend. Everything is going GREAT!

I'm sure I'll still have a few moments of feeling anxious, but I know it will be okay. I have hundreds of people praying for me and Roy on my side. I have an excellent surgeon and will be in an awesome hospital. It will be fine.

Goodbye Hank!

One week from today I'll be in the hospital laying in bed with tubes sticking out of me. I wonder if I'll be able to concentrate on American Idol?

Honestly? I'm getting really nervous. I was talking to my husband about it today. It's like losing weight and becoming an active person has "redfined" what normal is for me. Normal used to be feeling uncomfortable in my skin, eating without thinking, no exercise, sore feet at the end of the day, etc. All that fun stuff that comes with being a chunky monkey.

Now normal is running home and changing into shorts to zip to the gym, getting up early to work out, making healthy food choices, feeling absolute confidence as I walk down the street, skipping, jumping, leaping, jogging because I'm full of energy.

I feel 17 again except I don't have zits or homework.

So now I worry that having this operation is going to mean re-writing what "normal" is again. I know that at least temporarily my energy will be drained, I'll have huge issues with eating and digestion, I will be dealing with yucky post-op stuff. Then I read sometimes that the digestive issues can last forever, and the energy thing can last forever to some extent.

I know I don't have a choice, but I don't want to re-write my normal! I like my normal the way it is! It's fun! My normal is full of color and funky music and happy sounds. My normal puts a smile on my face.

When I look at what the "new normal" might be I see darkness, clouds (not the white fluffy kinds either), I see slowness, and hear dirges. I don't like that normal.

Maybe I'll feel better tomorrow. I hope so.