Wild Weekend

What a weekend! Roy wanted to give me a birthday weekend like no other we've spent before...and boy did he. Believe it or not, we went to Wrestlemania. Yup...the two of us at Wrestlemania.

For some reason he'd been turning on the WWE on Monday nights. I never paid too much attention, except when The Rock was on because...well damn, he's The Rock and he's damn fine looking!

So then he told me we were goin to Fan Axxess. I thought "Funky...not something I'd choose, but I'm up for new things. Let's go for it."

Well on my birthday he came home during his prep period and gave me a card with The Rock on it. It had our weekend schedule.

Now I would never, ever have believed I would ever go see a WWE match...much less Wrestlemani XIX. I mean I see plays and concerts and go to museums and stuff. It's not like I'm a snob, it's just not something I ever thought I'd do.

But one of the things I love best about my honey is that he is always up for new experiences. (Legal and safe experiences, but new experiences.) He's not the type to say "Oh, I don't do that!" Not my guy! Seriously he is so awesome that way. He knows how to keep life fun.

So Saturday night we went to Fan Axxess. We saw lots of wrestlers and got autographs and photos. We saw Rey Mysterio, Team Angle, The Hardy Boys (grrrr Baby, very grrrrr), Golddust (okaaaay), Los Guerrerros, the refs, Rhyno, and Ivory. (She is one beautiful woman...man good genes must be nice.)

Sunday was The Big Show, though. Wild! There were 54,097 people there and I swear they were all in line for the bathroom at once. There were lots of, shall we say, interesting people there. Roy kept mumbling, "Two words people, DENTAL WORK!" Not a lot of dental hygiene freaks in the crowd.

We had great seats on the end of one of the floor rows. A gentleman in a wheelchair and his son sat next to us. His chair was lovingly adorned with a variety of pictures of female wrestlers. Apparently female wrestlers do not have an overriding concern for skin cancer as they appear to wear just about as little as they can in most pictures. At least during the slow times the pics were good for the ever popular game, "Real? Or fake?"

His son seemed like a nice guy, but appeared to have some form of anger management "issues". Every time a new wrestler would enter the ring people would rush up toward the ring, blocking our view. This mild mannered middle aged gentleman suddenly would turn into a much smaller, beiger version of The Hulk (as in incredible, not as in Hollywood). He'd go bezerk! He started screaming "Get out of the way Ass Clowns! Get out of the way Ass Clowns you damn Ass Clowns!!"

Now I am not entirely sure I understand exactly what an ass clown is, but my assumption is that it is not a good thing. I did try to look it up on the Internet (god bless the Internet). I saw reference to "brown marks in ones underwear" and one reference to Michael Bolton and another Pauly Shore. None of those are appealing, but I'm still not quite sure what the relationship was to the Wrestlemania fans.

Gotta say once again...god bless the Internet. I mean where else can you find an in depth explanation of the Pythagorean Theorom and seconds later use the SAME tools to research the derivation of the term ass clown?

The matches were awesome. We really got into it. Heck, I even flipped off Stone Cold 'cause he dissed The Rock and nobody disses The Rock, baby. He's the most electrifying entertainer in sports history (at least that's what I'm told). Yes, this quiet little Lutheran girl was at Wrestlemania screaming "Stone Cold Sucks! Stone Cold Sucks!" and flipping the bird. (See how much a nerd I am? I even say things like "flipping the bird." I'm pathetic.)

If my mom could see me now...

We rooted for The Hulk, gasped in disbelief when Rowdy Roddy Piper showed up and turned on Hogan. We "Owwwwww"ed and "Ooooooh"ed at the bone cracking moves, and pretended not to notice the punches that never seemed to land. We consoled each other when Kurt Angle was beaten by Brock Lesnar, and rocked to Limp Bizket. I pretended to look suitably offended when the Miller Light Cat Fight Girls got into it on a giant bed with Torrie and Trish. Roy pretended not to watch. (Yeah, as if.)

The best part of the entire weekend, though, was that it was so different and so silly and so bizarre that I had very little time to stress about tomorrow's surgery. That was what Roy wanted to accomplish and accomplish it he did.

Thank you my honey. It was definitely a birthday to remember.